Random humor about the single life…unedited…

I had someone ask me once, “Why are you single? Where’s your fiancé?” I didn’t know what to say at the time, so I quipped, “My debit card kept getting declined.” Yeah, I know, horrible.

Truth be told, I blame fairy tales and Walt Disney.

With stories like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty it’s hard to figure out the mess of emotions called love.

Take Sleeping Beauty for example. A guy goes traipsing off through the woods and comes upon a woman passed out on a slab. BAM! He’s overwhelmed with a desire to kiss her, and BAM! She wakes up, and she’s not even upset this guy she doesn’t know put his cruddy lips on hers.

Try that in real life and see what it gets you. Don’t do it, she can’t consent and its called sexual assault.

Or even in Cinderella, a guy meets a gorgeous woman and dances the night away. At midnight she runs away (way too familiar in my case) and he sends out search parties to find her. She might be the one! I must find her and figure it out!

Of course, he’s not out there looking for her. He sent others out in search of her. Eventually they find her. Her ugly sisters and decrepit step-mother have dressed her in filthy clothes, rags even, and forced her to clean the entire house on her hands and knees. With a toothbrush. The search party finds her huddled up in a dark corner talking to the rats.

Yep! This is her. True love.

None of this works in real life…and that is why I am single!

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