It’s funny. I’m sitting in my recliner, trying to write something witty, dark, or mysterious, and my brain doesn’t want to focus.
This is a writing made of random thoughts, as I listen to the whir of my dryer. My house is silent except for the hum of that piece of equipment.
My thoughts are empty. So is my coffee cup, and I suppose my heart is as well. I started a new Thermopolis Konan and Lilly Thompson novella. That’s always exciting.
It’s late March, and I’ve accomplished exactly nothing this month. I’ve gone to therapy. Why does it seem to take so much out of a person to ‘talk’ about the things that bother you?
Every time I open up to people, I regret it. It’s like drawing a dull knife over an exposed heart. “Here, let me help you cut this open again.” I’m editing A Walk in Darkness, too.
That also could be the reason for my sudden lethargic response to writing as well. Those words have been on my mind, even in my prayers they surface, “Lord forgive my lethargic response. Forgive my apathy.”
I don’t know. Maybe it’s all futile.
Or maybe it’s a gigantic cosmic joke. Being better than you were yesterday. Be the change you wanna see in the world. Speaking of thoughts, another recent one I’ve had is simply this: When nothing matters, not words or deed, action or inaction, truth or lies, when all of it accounts for zero on the balance sheet, will peace be attained?
When we’ve tore down every offensive statue, renamed all the bases named after Confederate generals, when all the offensive writings have been corrected or eradicated, when equality of outcomes are guaranteed, will we finally have peace?
Or will we still be the same miserable cretins we are now? I don’t think peace will be attained, or that this society will ever reach enlightenment. We’ll still be the miserable stains we’ve always been, and then we’ll need new reasons to hate each other.
Once the poor are poorer, the rich are richer, and the future of all mankind are erased, nothing will have changed in the long run.
The poor will still carry out wars for the rich, the politicians will lie and promise to bring ‘justice’ to the same situations they’ve created time and time again. And the sheep will continue to follow the lies right to the slaughterhouse.
Of course, I could be wrong. Maybe once all the bad, oppressive stuff is snuffed out. Maybe racism will be defeated. All the other bad -isms (racism, sexism, fascism, etc.) will be eradicated.
After all, a guy can hope for a bright, utopian future.
A future where jails are destroyed, people are free to love whomever they choose, and dogs can talk. Wouldn’t it be great if there weren’t any rich people in the world? To know that the amassed fortunes of those ‘elites’ was ripped from their bloody fingers and used to end world-wide poverty.
There’d be no Hollywood preachy types getting on television lecturing us commonfolk about what we need to do without, while they frolic on some sunny beach doing the exact thing, they just told us not to do.
We’d all have equal parts of the nothing pie, and for once, we’d all be equal. Then, we could sit around the campfire since our homes weren’t ‘green’ enough and share our mudpies. There would not be any electric bills, no chemically enhanced water, no cellphones, no cutting-edge technological breakthroughs, and no advanced medical treatments.
On the bright side, there wouldn’t be any phony newscasters spreading their opinion as truth, no phony preachers stirring up racial division, and no fake scientists yelling at you to ‘mask up your kids.’
It’d be this grand adventure, like the Boxcar Kids, except we’d all live in Charmin boxes and dig up grubs, so we could fish in toxic water to catch mutated fish.
“Well, Bob, we can’t eat this one. It’s got a bit to much mercury in it. We’ll try again tomorrow.”
And then we’d eat the grubs we found in the sewage that covered the landscape. The government would collapse under the mismanagement of funds, the open borders, and all the rest of the mess they’ve made.
Instead of a president, or other such nonsense, we’d have small villages and tribes. There’d be no cars, no public transportation, and no flights. Uber would go out of business because no one could afford their services.
Everything we’ve accomplished to this point would get labeled ‘bad’ and forgotten. Transportation would consist of walking, or running, because engines pollute the air. Houses, apartments, and public buildings would get demolished because of ‘science.’ There would not be any law enforcement types period, because they represent oppressive thinking of violent non-conformists who hate those different from themselves.
Besides, laws are racist tools or some such idiocy.
Then, we’d all sit in one gigantic global circle jerk and sing some non-racist, non-spiritual, non-offensive thing about world peace, unless you hate the idea of peace, and then we’d sit in silence because we’d hate to offend you.
My dryer just clicked off, and I’ve written 880 words of nonsense.