A Walk in Darkness…unedited, incomplete…

My soldiers were in the motorpool when I arrived back at work. Mondays was slotted as a day of maintenance. The rest of the week it was where I kept my squad; out of sight, out of mind was my creed.

For some reason or other, my soldiers respected my methods. I rewarded them time off when it was possible. In every situation, I proved I had their back. To top it off, I never asked them to do something I was unwilling to perform.

“Sometimes, you just have to grit your teeth and do what is necessary.” This had been true for the past several months in my life. With another deployment looming on the horizon, I was stressed beyond my limits. Weekly meetings with Friskers became my norm. I saw more of him than I did of my family.

Then, the marriage fell apart. Well, it fell apart years ago, we kept pretending everything was okay for a while. At the end of it, too much pain was spoken, and too little love was given.

We both conceded that continuing forward was futile. She moved out and took our children with her. I was alone with my bitterness. For a while, I had work to distract me from the pain in my heart.

Until that was taken from me to. Life happened all around me, but I was standing still. I was rooted to my personal ground zero. The ashes of the life I had built drifted lazily in the air. There was nothing more that I could do.

I had done more than my share of damage to my marriage. The trust we had started out with was nowhere to be found. My career had started with a bang and ended a quiet whisper. Three words sealed my fate:

Unfit for duty.

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