Alligator tears….A short story.

The screen door screeches as it is ripped open, and my niece Angela stomps across the living room. Tearfully, she throws herself on the couch and crosses her arms.

“I hate him! I hate him so much!”

I walk to my recliner, one hand carries my coffee, the other hand carries my laptop. Easing down, I put my coffee in the cup holder.

“Okay.”

“Don’t you want to know what I am crying for?”

“Um, I guess. Although, I have a pretty good idea why you’re crying.”

“You know Tony, yeah? Tall, dark, handsome, he is the guy every girl dreams about. I’ve carried a torch for him for five years.”

I sip my coffee and try to pull my thoughts together. “Uh-huh.”

Angela doesn’t even notice my broken concentration, she continues, “Ever since we had that one class, back in seventh grade, I’ve loved him. Today, I found out he has a girlfriend in another town, and he just messes with me because I live here in town. I’m never going to get what I want!”

Angela sobs and I look up from my computer. “Poor girl, she is in shambles. Say something nice and encouraging.”

You ever watch Farscape, Angela?”

“No,” she wails, “what is it?”

“It’s a show about an astronaut who went into space to test a theory. He hit a wormhole and was shot to the far side of space. When he came to, he was lost in uncharted territory. He met these alien life forms and a living ship. In the end, he falls in love with a woman and gets her pregnant. She leaves him. One of the characters chide him for being a torn up sissy about his broken heart. I’m paraphrasing but his speech went like this: If the person you love is always busy or leaving, or hiding things from you, take a hint. You’re feelings don’t match.”

“God, you’re horrible at comforting people!”

“Okay. Then go get you a hamburger and a drink. That way there is something in your mouth, because I don’t want to hear it.”

“No wonder you’re single. You are a butt.”

“Yeah, but I’m not the one sitting on my couch wailing like a banshee.”

“Maybe, I haven’t tried hard enough. I will show him, I’m the one he needs.”

“You go, girl.”

“Thanks for listening.”

“Anytime.”

“You’re still a butt.”

“And you’re still an idiot.”

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