An introspective look at my perspective toward love….

Recently, a friend told me that I have a cavalier attitude toward relationships and all that is entailed in this type of endeavor. This has been in my mind ever since I was told this. “Where did this attitude come from?” Although I have given this a lot of thought, I can’t pinpoint the source of the attitude. Maybe it is from my Army days. Perhaps, it showed up when I got divorced. There is a plethora of reasons which could be the source of this wicked attitude.

Rough language is part of a career in the military, I know, it seems like I am making an excuse for profanity. I’m not. Given the nature of military service, the attitude of a soldier tends to range from angry to cavalier. The constant threat of life and death situations often leads a service member to not giving a rip about anything. If you assign little value to something, it doesn’t hurt as bad when it doesn’t work out. Therefore, this could be the source of my rough estimation of relationships, and women in general.

I have a confession to make, my divorce did not stir up feelings of affection and love toward the opposite sex. It took many years for me to move past the cost of my divorce and to disassociate said cost with relationships. It’s not like I mean to have an attitude which is degrading toward lady folk, nor do I mean to diminish marriage or relationships. The truth is, I have forgotten how to respond to many good things in my life.

In the future, I will try to be less cavalier in my attitude toward life, love and lady folk. I don’t intend to be offensive, although, I will sometimes make a statement to see what type of response I will receive. The person who said my attitude is cavalier is someone that I hold in great affection. Thus, it was a bit painful hearing that my attitude was less than stellar toward them. I need to do better and I will.

29 November 2019

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