Time heals all wounds, except absence. Paralyzing blows of loss pummels us into darkness. Healing is not for everyone. Some of us never recover fully from the wounds inflicted upon our souls. We channel our self-loathing inward, silently punishing ourselves for loving too deeply. God intended for us to love with all our heart. We take solace in solitude, and the darkness seeps in via portals we have opened. Our nerve endings are flayed open, deadened by the flames of another failed attempt at love.
We fall in the darkness, seeking light so we can stand once more. Valiantly, we struggle to find our way out of the darkness, fighting to return to normalcy. Loss hardens the gentlest of hearts if not allowed to grieve. The wounds scab over and bitterness sets in. Nervousness is a side effect of relationships which end with hate-filled words, the shunning of our significant other is perhaps the worst part of heartache. Marriage is either heaven or hell, yet no one tells us in crying we weep bleeding tears of sorrow. The remnants of what used to be echoes throughout our hearts. There is no way to bandage the cuts caused by pride and ego. Divorce may cause us to go exploring for the root cause of our lack of fulfillment. Hope lies in leaving, distancing ourselves from those whom we believed would be by our side forever. Our emotions raped of feeling, our hearts broken like shattered glass, we face the world alone.
Are we destined to face the coldness of the world alone? Are we doomed to live in hiding, afraid to risk it all for the great reward?
Only the Lord knows….
19 October 2019