Chaos and the lessons of sorrow….

Cause and effect,

Chain of events,

All of the chaos makes perfect sense,

When you’re spinning round, things come undone,

Welcome to Earth, third rock from the sun- Joe Diffie “Third Rock from the Sun.”

Life is chaotic. From the moment we enter the game called life, to the moment we take our dirt nap, chaos is our nature. Loss, triumph, devastation and achieving the pinnacle of success, life is a series of moments that take our breath away. It seems we sway from one end of the spectrum to the other, while never stopping in the middle. For all the joy success brings, our life has moments of loss. It is important to celebrate the moments of achievement, but it is more important to master the consequences of loss. Grief may visit us in stages, but mastering the various aspects of sorrow is the most vital lesson we must all learn. Why is it important to learn how to deal with sorrow? The answer is simple, we must grieve if we hope to move on.

Emotionally shutting down may save us from some of the pain that comes from living, but life will find other ways to produce loss in our lives. The loss of family, pets, and friends can occur at any time. Therefore, learning to grieve and make peace with the loss is paramount to our success. Any endeavors we may undertake without learning the lesson from our sorrow is bound to end in failure. You can’t be successful if you repeatedly do the same things which caused you to fail. The definition of insanity is to continue doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result.

Here is an example from my past. Immediately following my divorce, I started to look for my next companion. What can I say? I like companionship. Each attempt was met with the same result, failure. As I lurched from one failed relationship to the other, I found myself becoming angry. Why won’t a relationship work for me? What am I doing wrong? Finally, the answer struck me. I was doing the same thing I did when I was married. Instead of me making time to grieve, I started looking for someone new. The same mistakes I made with my ex-wife, I made with someone new and ended up with the same result as my marriage. My pain was self-inflicted.

There is no time limit on grief. We each deal with loss in our own way. Some of us take up sky diving, others bury their heads in the sand until the hurt recedes. Unlike other parts of our life, there is no “right” way to grieve. You will know when you have healed, and no one can tell you when you should try again. However, it can’t be overstated, we must learn the lesson our sorrow is trying to teach us. When we learn the lesson, we can move on to the next stage of our life. It will teach us how to overcome the pain the next time we face a similar situation. In turn, it will help us be successful.

Grief sucks, but it is part of our lives. Learn how to deal with the pain, and nothing will be able to keep you back from attaining the things you deserve.

26 September 2019

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