If I were to attempt to put how I feel into words, I would say I am empty.
Nothing, nada, zip.
Just a husk of what used to be a thriving individual. Without thinking, I take one step after another. The encroaching darkness smothers any hope and courage I may have built up. “Here I go again,” plays in the theater of my mind. Another attempt to right the ship leads to another abysmal failure.
People often say it won’t be this way forever, but what do they know? In the darkness there is only you and the horror of your past failures. The dreams come and go, but the memories are eternal. Silence is bred in darkness; in the silence I hear the footfalls of my pursuers. I push on in search of the light only to trip over unseen obstacles. My heartbeat quickens but I know the unspoken truth now. The darkness is forever.
01 September 2019