A new perspective….A Walk in Darkness….

I need a new perspective.

For many long years, I have been a glass is half empty kind of guy. It was never my intention to become a negative nanny. Between life and war, it happened. Rage, PTSD, and a lack of sleep doesn’t breed an optimist. Rather, it has all the makings of an irate cynic. “I’m a realist!” I shouted for many years. However, real life is not all negative (regardless of what the mass media would state!) It is now my goal not to be an optimist but to somehow change the tint on my perspective.

This past Sunday, my pastor preached a tremendous sermon. During his message he made this point, some people (this guy included) focus on what they have lost, instead of the blessing. What remains is as important as what is lost. In the moment, this point struck me like a bullet. Have I been focusing on the wrong thing? The obvious answer is yes. Given this revelation, the question of how I change the tint on my perspective remains unanswered for now.

I am writing a novel titled, A Walk in Darkness. It is a fictional account of my struggles with addiction, loss, depression and anxiety. While it is about these things what gets kicked to the side with little mention is that it is also a tale of redemption. I focus on the pain of it all so much that redemption seems to be an afterthought. Why? Because my perspective is set to see only the pain. This needs to change. Redemption is a powerful aspect of our lives. Without redemption, hope would not exist. It should be a simple thing to realize the good in people and in our life. However, life often conspires to make us bitter, resentful, and given this, it warps our perspective.

Does this mean I am going to blossom into a “love will conquer all” type of hero? No. I still have my issue with love. Changing my perspective will not change my view on this emotion. Perhaps what will change is my mentality of “me vs. the world.” We all could do with a lighter load, and changing our perspective is one way to take a few bricks out of our pack.

You guys take care.

Freeman out.

06 August 2019

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