I am powerless to change what is.
Welcome to my mind tonight, it is a madhouse in here so buckle up.
The revelation that I am powerless to impact anything concerning another human being is a humbling feeling. Each of us are entitled to our own feelings on a subject or person. Whether it is love, career or any other aspect of life, we can only operate within certain confines of this reality. At no point are we able to change a person to meet our perspective or need. We can influence people to lean a certain way to see our point of view, but that is not the same as changing their mind or feelings about life.
So, why is my mind spinning with this madness tonight? I have no idea. Everything was fine and then BAM! I was blindsided by this crap. I am going to have to let go of everything. It is as clear as a cloudless day. What entails letting go of everything? I suppose I could list it out but summarizing it in a few sentences would be best. Letting go of everything means that I need to leave certain situations to the whims of fate. In no way should I be attempting to “fix” anything. Therefore, it is imperative that I remove myself from every part of life that requires me to exercise any sphere of influence or control.
I am not angry tonight. Resignation seems to be my mood for some strange reason. Mentally, I am tired, exhausted even. Everyday presents a new challenge. While I like a good challenge, enough is enough already. A guy can only take so much crap without losing his temper on the next available target. If I could only turn off my brain, then I could reset my status to single and unavailable.
God did not give us the power to shut off our brain. It seems we are hardwired to overthink, overstress, and over complicate the smallest events that crop up in our day to day life. He did not create us to change others to suit our needs or desires either. Therefore, if my logic is sound, I should stop crying and get over it already. After all, I am powerless to change what is.