This morning I am not feeling the writing bit, or the living bit. Disgust courses through my body, ever so slowly. Unfortunately, I am feeling grimy. No amount of showering, washing or soaking will wash me clean. One thing I can’t stand is being accused (playfully or not) of being unfaithful. I spent years in a loveless relationship, and not once did I stray from my vow. When I uttered that fateful line that states “until death do we part” I meant it.
My marriage did not last, the reasons are too many to recount. It’s not important why things fell apart, only that they did. Every time that I attempted another relationship, I remained faithful. Why? Because being unfaithful is a learned trait. It starts with wandering eyes, and then it progresses to where having a side piece is no big deal. Of course, there is the role that the other partner plays into it as well. They condone the secret glances at someone else. “Oh, they are just looking!” It is akin to lying. If you will lie, you will steal, if you will steal, you will kill. Escalation is part of the process.
Wandering eyes and secret glances lead to just a touch. A touch will lead to a kiss, and a kiss will lead you into committing adultery. Reverend Shane Burns preached a revival for our church earlier in the month. During his sermon, he asked the question: “If you are dating someone with no plans to have a future together, why are you dating?” The end goal is to find someone to be with and build a life together. However, before you bite the marriage bullet, you should make sure that you will be enough. Perhaps, you should be honest with one another before you take the plunge.
Marriage is like an unfired bullet. Like a bullet, once the hammer is cocked back, and the trigger is pulled, it is too late to take it back. A relationship (dating, friendship or marriage) can’t last without trust. If you marry someone who is constantly searching for the next best thing (I am referring to a younger, prettier version) then you will be miserable the whole time. The sad truth is that if they are looking while dating you, then you aren’t enough to begin with. No amount of love will keep their attention, no amount of submission to their authority will keep them on the porch.
Of course, the Bible is full of wisdom concerning marriage. In Proverbs it states, “that a man that finds a wife has found a good thing.” Solomon was the wisest man to ever lived, however, he was not content with a wife. He had wives and girlfriends. Which leads me to question his wisdom. Humor aside, trust must always be protected. Failure to do so, leads to the end of your relationship. Trust is irreplaceable, there is a finite amount of it. Once it has been extinguished, there are no replacements that can be purchased. Even when you seek it bitterly with tears, you can never get it back. Protect your relationship, protect your trust, and God keep His hands upon you all.