Wasted time and effort…..a tragedy on the road to love (a divorcee’s perspective).

It seems that many friends of mine have experienced divorce. This unfortunate set of circumstances is a bitter pill to swallow. I write from my own experience. It is difficult to rebuild after losing your marriage. So, I sat down yesterday and wrote a blog about it. To all of my friends that are dealing with the fallout of a failed marriage, hang in there. Time will heal the rift in your heart.

Do you know what the problem with love is? It’s not successful if only one person is trying. Unfortunately, love is a team sport, and it requires two people to accomplish it. Otherwise, you fail every time you attempt it. Of course as life would have it, most of us struggle to keep it afloat while our souls are being ripped from our bodies. The more we try, the more painful our failure is.

If my life was turned into a major theater production, it would be a romantic tragedy, penned by none other than William Shakespeare. “Aghast, he doth toil fruitlessly in yonder fields of love! Alas, he doth labor in vain!” No doubt it would set box office records.

Maybe it is me, but if only one of the couple is striving to make it work, then it becomes a wasted effort. There is no other way to classify it. Logic would dictate that if you are wasting effort, you are wasting your time as well. Each of us have a limited amount of time here on Planet Earth, why do we waste it on dead-end relationships? It seems that we are slaves to our heart. We seek love and commitment from those who are only interested in their needs and have no depth. Much like Alice, we fall into the rabbit hole and are quickly sucked into a meaningless relationship that we labor to make work.

However, there is an upside to love. If you are fortunate enough to find someone who will ride with you, then you have found a treasure. The problem with treasure is that not everything that glitters is gold. Sometimes, we are just fools. A fool in love is still a fool.

Time and effort are the cornerstones to success. It makes sense that successful relationships are built upon these cornerstones as well. When you find someone who is there for you through thick and thin, you should understand that they are not some flash-in-the-pan, here today, gone tomorrow waste of time. Alas, we rarely stop to see the truth, regardless of how plain the truth may be.

The wheel continues to turn, crushing everything that it lands on. Some day’s you are the windshield, other day’s you are the bug. As you try to rise from the ashes, remember that the first step to recovery is to love yourself. It is impossible to love someone else, when you hate everything about yourself. What is done is done. It is not easy to let the pain and hurt go, nor is it easy to place memories of time shared together on the shelf. Keep your head up, and take it one day at a time. Or an hour at a time, be okay with finding your own interests. You will rediscover yourself and what makes you tick in time.

To my friends that are seeking to recover from lost love, I hope that this helps. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take it slow, enjoy the ride, and remember to breathe. God bless you all.

Freeman out.

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