Over Christmas I saw my favorite uncle. He is recovering well after losing his wife of fifty years to cancer. I hugged his neck and told him that I loved him. However, it got me wondering about long-term love. Fifty years is a long time. To be that committed to traveling life with a singular person by your side, that is a deep love. My mother and father are inching ever closer to their fifty-year mark as well.
I have noticed that they seem to know what the other is thinking without saying a word. This connection is something that I have admired for many years. How does a person fall that deep in love? To be so dedicated to someone is truly a rare gift in today’s society.
My attempt at marriage ended in failure. It is easy to get divorced, and it is even harder to recover from one. Dating after you are forty is like driving a screwdriver into your good eye for fun. Why can some people survive all of the tumultuous storms that crop up in their marriage and others drown beneath the waves? Are some people meant to be married, while others are predestined to remain single forever? Maybe it has to do with the era that we grew up in.
Love is a battlefield. You don’t have to fight to find it, but you do have to struggle to keep it. Yet, you can’t be the only one fighting for it. Marriage is a team exercise. Do not confuse that with others “helping” to keep your love alive. The couple that is bound together at the altar must purpose that regardless of the storm, they are in it together.
While it is apparent that love is a wonderful thing (thanks Michael Bolton) it is also a puzzle. It may take years for love to fully blossom. No one gets married knowing all aspects of their partner. Sometimes it seems that we spend all of our time building up the facade so that people will like us. We never allow anyone get close enough to know the real us. If you marry a facade, it won’t take long to discover the truth.
We live in a society that craves convenience. It is easy to get married, and even easier to get divorced. It is so easy, that many people just throw up their hands and walk away. Screw him/her! I am going to get divorced! What happened to working the issues out? Trust me, I am looking over my life and wondering if I have the ability to stay in a marriage.
Well, it appears that my Valentine Day blog is written. You guys take care and we will chat soon.