Earlier this year, I wrote a draft called Consequences and Repercussions. The title of it came from a line in the movie Life which starred Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence. At the time of me writing it, I was not sure how I was going to use it, so I never published it. However, I figured I would try to use some of it this morning. Personal relationships are difficult to manage. When we enter one that is bad for our sanity, the trauma inflicted takes years to overcome.
I once knew a guy who asked a lady to the prom. She smiled and flirted with him before giving him an answer. Her answer was: I am waiting on this other guy to ask me out. If he doesn’t, then I will go to the prom with you. He was okay with that answer. Every bell in my mind would be ringing. How low is your self-confidence to be okay with being treated like an option?
Dating, marriage and various other personal relationships center on respect for each other. No one should be made to feel that they don’t matter (especially if they are in a relationship). Some people like to play games in relationships. I will marry you, but what I really want is to play around with this person here. Why even bother with the first one if your heart is somewhere else? Throughout my time in the military, I watched as many marriages and relationships failed due to a lack of interest, concern or dissatisfaction.
If you treat me like an option, I will drop you like a bad habit. This is my motto. Life is too short to deal with the drama that comes from seeking someone to share your time with. The problem that I have with dating is that it requires going through so many duds before you find that gem.
There are consequences for every decision that we make. Treating others like they are not worthy of your time or effort is no different. Once you have a reputation of playing head games (no pun intended) in a relationship, anyone with self-confidence will avoid you. They tell their friends to avoid you and it snowballs from there. The downside of that is not everyone respects themselves. Therefore, there are plenty of people who will still enter a relationship with this type of individuals.
Thus, the repercussions of trying to fix a relationship in this type of situation varies. Self-respect dissipates. The party that sticks it out is traumatized. Their self-confidence is eroded to such a degree that it is almost impossible to overcome. Trust is never freely given after suffering through this type of relationship. In many regards, multiple symptoms show up in these victims lives. Yes, they are victims.
Treating your significant other like they are unimportant to you, to stay with them until the next hottest option comes along, borders on emotional abuse. There are some vicious people in the world. Some want to continue the physical aspect of the relationship but doesn’t want the whole enchilada. I want the icing but not the whole cake!
Of course, people stay in these soul-wrecking relationships. This is to their detriment. A solid relationship that is built upon friendship, trust, love and all of the other gooey traits. It can be a very rewarding experience. Then the other side of the coin is a life-crushing, psyche-shattering experience. We must love ourselves enough to understand when we are optional to someone. When we realize it, we must take action and save ourselves.
You guys take care. I will catch up with you later.
Disclaimer: Under no circumstances am I referencing anyone that I know. At no time would I use my blog to target anyone. That is all.
Freeman out again.