In the darkest corners of my heart, there are monsters that I do not like to confront. These emotions wreak havoc in various parts of my life. Once upon a time, I thought I might have slain the beast named stress. That was just a fanciful dream. Life breeds stress. Thus, there must be some way that I can exorcise the demons that plague me. I use a two pronged attack to slay these demonic pests. My weapons are faith and writing.
In the darkest periods of my life, I was introduced to the therapeutic nature of writing. While I was sitting in my psychologist’s office, she asked me if I kept a journal. My answer was no. She then laid out the instructions for me to follow. 1) Write down everything you feel. 2) Write it how you feel it. Don’t sugarcoat your emotions. 3) Nothing is off limits. Get the rawness out. 4) When you are done cleansing your soul, burn the journals.
I filled entire volumes of journals. Anger, frustrations, and a large amount of bitterness came pouring out of my soul. When the journal was full, I grabbed another one and continued to pour out my fears, the hurt, and more. When I felt that I was empty, I took my journals into my backyard and burned every one of them. It bordered on the primitive, but it felt so good. My soul felt clean. Emotionally, I was weightless.
To this day, I use this method to keep my head above the waves of life. Writing became the tool that helped save my sanity. Words became my friend and I chose to utilize them to express what I felt. Throughout my military career, I shut down my emotions. Through writing, I was able to open myself up emotionally. Today, I am not emotionally stunted. By no means am I overly-emotional, but I am able to express myself.
It is my hope that this small blog will be able to help someone. Take care of yourselves.