Smitten

Anyone who knows me, will tell you that I am not easy to love. Words like adorable, lovable, approachable, and any other romantic adjectives would probably not be used to describe me. However, I have a special lady who by just being around her makes me float on air. I will not name her, but she needs to know why I feel so strongly about her (especially since she asked).

She has heard all this before. However, here we go. I need her like crops need rain and sunshine. Her smile melts the darkness in my world. Her laughter is infectious, it makes me remember the small moments that we have shared. Our first kiss (on my couch, the night before she left for Natchez). The first time I saw her, I was a wreck. January 2016, I was failing Intermediate Algebra and was weeks behind. I burst through the door of her classroom and was smitten at that moment. In the blink of an eye, I knew that she was the lady that I had spent my life searching for. However, PTSD, fear, and numerous other factors kept me saying dumb crap like, “I am good being single!” or “I am never going to get married again!” She is my confidant. She has listened, and never passed judgement on me for what I did in Iraq. Her intelligence leaves me in awe. Singer, poet, teacher, and so many other titles could be applied to her accomplishments. She is a prayer warrior, faithful and true. She lifts me up when I am discouraged. Supports me when I undertake crazy tasks (like writing a novel). Sits in the VA and helps me maintain my sanity by being at my side. She is my anchor point in this life, and besides God, she is the best thing to walk into my life in many years.  My favorite thing about her is that in all my mood swings and insanity, she has never given up on me. She is an optimist and represents the best of humanity. When I am in her presence, I have no problems. Since my divorce, I never thought I would find anyone who I would willingly give my heart to. She is the one I want to be the guardian of my heart. To sit on my front porch and drink sweet tea with me. To make and share memories with me. I want to hold her hand when God calls me home. She will never know what she has done for me or what she rescued me from.

In the darkness, I was lost. However, God put an angel in my path and she has changed my life for the better. No matter what happens, my heart will always belong to her.

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