I can’t recall the exact day that this question was posed to me, but I thought I would answer it here on my blog. The question is: “Do you trust people?” This is sort of difficult to answer. To the person who asked, I smiled and gave the customary answer of “sure.” However, if I was being honest, I would say that I trust people to act according to their nature. This would be the more truthful answer. Life has a way of making us skittish. Plans made months in advance gets cancelled at the last moment. Friendships that seems unbreakable, shatter over an argument about who is the best center fielder. Marriages fail because of a lack of trust. Given these examples, it is only a matter of time before someone comes along and disappoints us.
Inside of each of us there is a nature. Some are hopelessly optimistic. “The checking account has .07 cents in it! Thank God it’s not overdrawn.” The pessimistic individual considers it a sign from God that things are going to get worse. “Crap, there is still 29 days left in this month! It will be overdrawn for sure!” I consider myself a realist. “Now, I am broke.” Often, our natures are honed and crafted by circumstances that we endure. If you are told that you are stupid and unable to do anything right, then you start to believe it. This could lead you to being shut-off and unwilling to try new things. If you are in a marriage and you lie to your partner about money, the trust that your marriage is built upon whittles away.
It is my opinion that our natures are unchangeable. A person who cheats on their spouse once will often cheat twice. People who are high roller gamblers don’t stop gambling. The list goes on and on. You can overcome these examples, but there will always be doubts when it comes to the trustworthiness of said individuals. I don’t know anyone else’s story, but I know mine. To put it mildly, I played a significant role in the destruction of my marriage. Lessons learned the hard way often instruct us in the most valuable teachings. The one thing that I have learned is that if trust is involved, it should be safeguarded above everything. Love without trust is unfulfilling. It is just another exercise in futility. When you are in a stack in Iraq, you must have complete trust in each other. Trust is the glue that keeps your entire world together.