My emptiness

Here I sit in the dark alone with my thoughts. I have spent the day with my parents and grandmother, wiling away the hours by remodeling their home. It has been a good day. We are all tired, working in the sun for hours on end tend to wear down even the most stout-hearted individuals. I am exhausted, but I am too tired to sleep. The past few days I have been reflecting on my life and where I am in it. I am 45, so there is not a whole of life left (considering that one may only live to be in their late 70’s sometimes they surprise us by going through their 80’s ). There seems to be plenty of time left, but I am not sure that this is the case.

Anyway, my reflection has brought me to this conclusion. I am content with my life. Yet, there is something missing. I can’t put my finger on it. My life could be better I suppose. I have been abrasive, hard to deal with, angry, and on more than one occasion bitter. Given all that, I am in a better place and I like my life as it is. It is quite maddening that I can’t put my finger on what is causing me to reflect on my life. Obviously, my finances could be better. That is not what is bothering me. I feel empty inside without this missing piece. Maybe a good night’s sleep will cause me to figure out what is missing.

Perhaps, I am overthinking it. I have a wonderful lady in my life. I have beautiful daughters. My parents love me. I have a great brother. I attend a wonderful church that is filled with people who love me and pray for me. All of this should be enough, but I still feel empty. Ah well, I digress. You guys have a great evening.

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