Relationship fear

Have you ever noticed that the people you are willing to break your back for, are the same people who does not hesitate to kick you square in your junk first? Well, there goes that friendship/relationship! I often surf Facebook in search of “pearls of wisdom” or funny memes to brighten my day. One day I found a pearl that said, “If I cut you out of my life, chances are good that you handed me the scissors.” Then I started thinking as I set out to cut my grass with my lawn trimmer. Why do relationships/friendships end? Is it because we are needy? I am. I think that if I am in a relationship, I should conduct myself as such. I also expect my partner to act like they are somewhat happy to be in a relationship with me. Friends may come and go, but exes stay with you forever. Generally, exes remain in haunt mode.

What keeps us from being committed? Or wanting to be closer with each other? I swear some people seem to be biding time until their ex remembers that they exist. “I am going to wait until they get done cheating on me, then they will come back, and things will be better” the imaginary voice in my head says. Maybe it is the cynic in me that guffaws and says, “yeah right!” Or perhaps it is the realist that remembers that if they cheat on you now, there is no chance that they will be faithful later. Are we really that blind? I have made numerous mistakes throughout my dating life, and I look back sometimes and go, “What was I thinking?” However, if hindsight is 20/20, then the present should be enjoyable, and the future bright.

I am still out here sweating up a small hurricane while I attempt to push my lawn trimmer as a lawn mower. One day, I will have to buy a lawn mower, but today is not that day (mainly because I am broke!). I still do not have a clear answer about why relationships/friendships end, but I have come up with a few things that can lead to an abrupt end. They are:

1.      You are a negative nanny. When it comes to pleasing you, there is no way to make you happy. Come on people. If you want love, you must show it. Even the Bible says to “love one another”.

2.      You have been hurt and you are risk averse. I know it is hard to overcome heartache. God knows when you have invested years of your life trying to make someone happy, it just feels like they have ripped your heart out when they leave. The lingering question seems to be, “What is so wrong with me that everyone leaves?” This does not make it feel any better, but the problem is not with you.

3.      Your plans never work, so why bother? You should bother, because you have a sidekick who wants to be with you. Or maybe they want to have a future with you. There is a saying in the military that says, “No plan survives first contact” but that does not mean that you don’t plan a future. It means that you adapt to the obstacles that arise in your path to happiness.

Well, this lawn trimmer acting as a lawn mower crap is not going to work. As I sit here on my porch pondering the mysteries of love and failed relationships/friendships, I come to realize that the past is full of hurt, the present is filled with happiness and the future is filled with promise. Live for today, and let tomorrow take care of itself.

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