Freeman's Front Porch Musings

Am I nuts?

This question runs through my mind most days. My sanity or lack thereof is a question of sparse moments which combine to make one complete fragment. Oft days I remind myself everything doesn’t require a reaction. It is like a mental trigger to keep me calm. “Relax. Breathe. Let it go.” This small mantra is part of my peace regiment.

As I muddle through my life, I ponder the cost of my personal peace. Some days it cost me nothing to remain at peace with the world. On other days, the cost is far too high. Memories eviscerate my peace. However, often these days rarely cross my radar. When they do, my first response is prayer. The second step is to go for a long walk through the woods. If it is peace I am seeking, I go where peace is located. The woods is a nice place to get your mind right.

Peace is worth it.

I don’t think I am nuts. Of course, that is what every person who are nuts thinks about their mental acuity. “Surely, I would know if I were nuts!” Except you wouldn’t. Normalcy is a perspective not shared by everyone. Sometimes, our view is warped to fit the scenario we are trapped in. Therein lies the issue. A normal life is not for everyone. One person’s normal is another person’s insanity. There are no scales when it comes to normalcy.

Therefore, in my mind, I feel fine. Normal. Is it real? I have no idea. Will it last or is it only a temporary peace? Only time will tell. To confess my soul, I am looking forward to finding out if it is a lasting peace. If it’s not, I can start over.

Let the games begin. It is after 0100, I am going to seek out some peace and quiet.

8 December 2019

I am trying get my head together. The scabs want to come off and to ease some of the pain, I am watching Andromeda. Most of my Christmas shopping has been done. Tomorrow will complete it and I will officially be done with the holiday season. I do have one question which requires an answer.

“What does Christmas mean to me?”

The easy answer is, “a time to reflect on the birth of Jesus Christ.” However, it’s much deeper than just the profession of faith and reflection on another year as a Christian. Christmas is time where I realize that I may not be a perfect man, but thank God, I am no longer the person I once was. It has been said I am inconsistent, or wishy-washy. It is laughable that people think they know me at my worst.

Once upon a time, in Mississippi, I found enjoyment in Christmas. In my heart, I still do. There is something special about being with people who love you, eating entirely too much food, and rekindling relationships which may have diminished over the course of time. It has been years since I spent the holidays with my family. As a matter of fact, the last time I spent the holidays with anyone was three years ago. It was a friend’s family. Hindsight reveals none of this information is important to the story.  Yet, here it is.

As I grow older, I enjoy the holidays in my own way. The solitude is nice, albeit it can be tiring. I enjoy being around people I like. There are some people whom the holiday season brings out the best in them. They seem to thrive on being a better person.  To me, I try to be a better man during Christmas. Sure, I strive to be Christ-like throughout the year. I try to emulate the example set forth by my Savior. At the end of the day, I am a flawed creation. Christmas is a time to realize the blessings in my life. To know that by the grace of the Almighty, 2020 is going to be a year of prosperity. I may not know what the future holds, but if I can hold on to the hands of Almighty God, there is nothing I can’t overcome.

6 December 2019

What is the world coming to?

Idiots in our society trumps up charges (pun intended), claim to be a victim of a hate crime (that they fabricated) and the media runs it as the truth. What is the deal with the lying? Jussie Smollett is countersuing the City of Chicago for “malicious prosecution.” This is after he fabricated a hate crime. On himself. Why isn’t this guy in jail?

Are there no consequences for our actions anymore?

The current trending topic, of course, is the impeachment of President Trump. I’m sorry, the impeachment inquiry. It is difficult to say it without laughing. Generally, if you are attempting to prosecute someone, you charge them with a crime. Let’s see how the proceedings have started. First, it was quid pro quo. Then extortion. Now it’s bribery. Tomorrow it might be something new. It’s like musical chairs of the impeachment process. Or duck, duck, goose. The whole thing is a sham which is being perpetrated on the American people by our representatives. We should fire all these idiots.

There is no place for truth in our society anymore. The media is no longer interested in the truth, rather, in our society its all about the narrative. Why? Because you can’t spin the truth. Narrative, however, is disguised as the truth but isn’t the truth. To put a finer point on it, the truth doesn’t care about your opinion, bias, or any other factor. It is absolute. Truth does not change because of external forces. It doesn’t fluctuate due to the political tides. It is only the truth.  Which seems to not matter to any of the politicians on either side.

Truth, Justice and the American Way. Do any of you remember hearing this while you were growing up? I do. Jussie Smollett and his fake hate crime has made a mockery of the justice system. If there was any justice, Jussie Smollett would spend the next 5-10 years in prison for wasting the city’s resources. How many people were killed during his fabricated event? How many man hours were wasted trying to investigate this oxygen thief’s fabrication? Hence, it’s just another miscarriage of justice.

While not everything is doom and gloom, things are dark.

Surely, there must be some light in the world. Some ray of hope to break through the bleakness of day to day life in the land of the free. In a world where life has no meaning, innocence is butchered in the name of convenience, and the weirder things are the more they are accepted, there must be something to give us hope. Science, facts, and reasoning are outdated if it doesn’t fit the narrative. We have become immune to the evil which perpetrates our society. There is good news. Some of us still believe in good manners, human decency, goodwill toward our fellow man, and love our country. To some of us, America is still the greatest country in the world. It is a land where religious freedom abounds, where you are free to worship as you see fit. A country blessed by the hands of God Almighty for the goodness we have shown others, specifically the country of Israel.

In the words of the game of Destiny, “you can try to trap the light, but the light always finds a way.” There can not be darkness, without the absence of light. However, even in the darkest days, light still shines. In the roughest storms, we still come through it. If we stand strong, together, we will triumph.

If we don’t…

21 November 2019

It has been a trying week.

I had a Gran-Mal seizure. It has taken a toll on me. All week I have struggled to clear the cloud in my mind. It has been hazy and has made it difficult for me to think, much less write anything for my blog. Thankfully, today has been better. My struggle is no longer a cloudy mind. There are days when I am fine. Nothing brings me down.

Well, almost nothing. This last seizure did a number on me.

My head is scabbed over, my left hand has a gash on it, and my upper left shoulder has another gash. I am ripped up. Thankfully, I am alive and kicking. My aches and pains are a minor inconvenience. Eventually things will be fine.

As I close out this post, let me apologize for my absence. I will get back to writing starting tomorrow. Thank you for sticking it out with me.

6 December 2019

I had another seizure tonight. My back is scrapped and my head. Prayers are appreciated. If life has taught me anything it’s to expect life to throw me a curveball. Tomorrow will be better.

Hello from Shamrock, Texas. We stopped here for the night and will soon be on the road making our way home. Hopefully, the weather will cooperate with us.

Prayers are appreciated. I will make time to write more when we are safely home.

The 17 hours home seems to pass so slowly. However, we are on our way home.